Romantic Love Can Last Forever

Romance does not necessarily have to fade away in the long-term relationships and transform into a friendship-type love, according to a new study. Romantic love can last a lifetime and lead to even happier, stronger and healthier relationships.

The study's lead researcher, Bianca P. Acevedo, PhD, from the University of California, Santa Barbara, said that many people identify romantic love as passionate love, which, in her opinion, is not true. The scientist explained that romantic love has the same intensity, involvement and sexual chemistry, that has the passionate love, with the exception of an obsession. Obsessive love is always accompanied by feelings such as anxiety and uncertainty, and never survives for a long time.

To come up with this conclusion, Dr. Acevedo and co-author Arthur Aron, PhD, analyzed 25 studies with more than 6,000 individuals that were engaged in the short-term and long-term relationships. The researchers planned to figure out if romantic love was associated with more satisfaction in a relationship. In several studies, the relationships were classified as romantic, passionate/obsessive, or friendship-like love, and categorized as the short- or long-term.

The first study involved 17 short-term relationships of single, dating or married college students with the ages between 18 and 23, whose relationships lasted less than 4 years. The second study analyzed 10 long-term relationships of middle-aged couples, with the marriage experience of 10 years or more. And, finally, two other studies included both the long- and short-term relationships in which it was pretty much possible to distinguish the two samples.

The results revealed that those individuals who said that they had a great romantic love, were much more satisfied in both the short- and long-term relationships. Participants from both the short- and long-term relationships, who reported that their love was mostly based on friendship, only moderately associated their relationship with complete satisfaction, and those who reported passionate love in their relationships, were more likely to be satisfied for the short period of time, rather than the long term. Also, couples who expressed the most satisfaction with their partner, turned out to be much happier and had higher self-esteem.

According to Dr. Acevedo, when partners feel and know that they are there for each other, it always creates a strong bond between them, and leads to a good relationship, which, in turn, contributes to stronger feelings of romantic love. On the contrary, when people start feeling insecure and jealous, they start also experiencing less satisfaction, which in many cases leads to misunderstandings and conflicts in the relationships. All this can point to the signs of an obsessive love, she said.

This new findings may change people's perceptions and expectations of what they really want in long-term relationships. The scientists wrote that companionship, or friendship-type love, which is what people usually see and expect as the natural transformation of any happy relationship, may be an unnecessary compromise. Partners should fight for their love with all the possible means, Acevedo said. And couples who have been together for many years and wish to rekindle their romantic feelings, should remember that this is an attainable goal that, like most good things in life, requires patience, energy and devotion, she concluded.

The new findings are reported in the latest issue of the journal Review of General Psychology, which is published by the American Psychological Association.

Gothic Love - Why People Attract to the Gothic Subculture

There are many people out there whom claim to be "Gothic", but what does that really mean? Are their really any rules that a true "Goth" lives by? I think not. In my humble opinion, the only thing that pertains to any supreme Goth of pure truth is "creativity" and "originality". Those two words may sound alike, but really they aren't.

People are attracted to the Goth subculture for all sorts of reasons. Some are there because of their dark and brooding personalities, some because they really like the music, some because they like the clothes. I suspect that all of the above figure to some extent or other in most Goths. In order to show that one reason is somehow more authentic than the others, or that some Goths are more truly gothic than others, you'll have to import your criterion of selection from outside the gothic subculture.

For to the extent that there's an immanent criterion of being a Goth, it's a fairly flexible criterion, one that won't affect the radical purge of the gothic subculture of which you seem oddly desirous. And I should think that the homogenization of the gothic subculture that would result from the application of such an authenticity test would be the death of the subculture, a death that is in no interesting way gothic.

I think it's very true that Gothic love is a label often applied from the outside rather than from within. Part of it is because the Goth subculture tends towards valuing individuality (despite the outward appearance the black dress code sometimes conveys) and so tends to attract people who tend to reject labels as too simplistic.

The kiss

It was still quite light out of doors, but inside with the curtains drawn and the smouldering fire sending out a dim, uncertain glow, the room was full of deep shadows.

Brantain sat in one of these shadows; it had overtaken him and he did not mind. The obscurity lent him courage to keep his eyes fastened as ardently as he liked upon the girl who sat in the firelight.

She was very handsome, with a certain fine, rich coloring that belongs to the healthy brune type. She was quite composed, as she idly stroked the satiny coat of the cat that lay curled in her lap, and she occasionally sent a slow glance into the shadow where her companion sat. They were talking low, of indifferent things which plainly were not the things that occupied their thoughts. She knew that he loved her a frank, blustering fellow without guile enough to conceal his feelings, and no desire to do so. For two weeks past he had sought her society eagerly and persistently. She was confidently waiting for him to declare himself and she meant to accept him. The rather insignificant and unattractive Brantain was enormously rich; and she liked and required the entourage which wealth could give her.

During one of the pauses between their talk of the last tea and the next reception the door opened and a young man entered whom Brantain knew quite well. The girl turned her face toward him. A stride or two brought him to her side, and bending over her chair before she could suspect his intention, for she did not realize that he had not seen her visitor he pressed an ardent, lingering kiss upon her lips.

Brantain slowly arose; so did the girl arise, but quickly, and the newcomer stood between them, a little amusement and some defiance struggling with the confusion in his face.

"I believe," stammered Brantain, "I see that I have stayed too long. I had no idea that is, I must wish you good-by." He was clutching his hat with both hands, and probably did not perceive that she was extending her hand to him, her presence of mind had not completely deserted her; but she could not have trusted herself to speak.

"Hang me if I saw him sitting there, Nattie! I know it's deuced awkward for you. But I hope you'll forgive me this once this very first break. Why, what's the matter?"

"Don't touch me; don't come near me," she returned angrily. "What do you mean by entering the house without ringing?"

"I came in with your brother, as I often do," he answered coldly, in self-justification. "We came in the side way. He went upstairs and I came in here hoping to find you. The explanation is simple enough and ought to satisfy you that the misadventure was unavoidable. But do say that you forgive me, Nathalie," he entreated, softening.

"Forgive you! You don't know what you are talking about. Let me pass. It depends upon a good deal whether I ever forgive you."

At that next reception which she and Brantain had been talking about she approached the young man with a delicious frankness of manner when she saw him there.

"Will you let me speak to you a moment or two, Mr. Brantain?" she asked with an engaging but perturbed smile. He seemed extremely unhappy; but when she took his arm and walked away with him, seeking a retired corner, a ray of hope mingled with the almost comical misery of his expression. She was apparently very outspoken.

"Perhaps I should not have sought this interview, Mr. Brantain; but but, oh, I have been very uncomfortable, almost miserable since that little encounter the other afternoon. When I thought how you might have misinterpreted it, and believed things" hope was plainly gaining the ascendancy over misery in Brantain's round, guileless face "Of course, I know it is nothing to you, but for my own sake I do want you to understand that Mr. Harvy is an intimate friend of long standing. Why, we have always been like cousins like brother and sister, I may say. He is my brother's most intimate associate and often fancies that he is entitled to the same privileges as the family. Oh, I know it is absurd, uncalled for, to tell you this; undignified even," she was almost weeping, "but it makes so much difference to me what you think of of me." Her voice had grown very low and agitated. The misery had all disappeared from Brantain's face.

"Then you do really care what I think, Miss Nathalie? May I call you Miss Nathalie?" They turned into a long, dim corridor that was lined on either side with tall, graceful plants. They walked slowly to the very end of it. When they turned to retrace their steps Brantain's face was radiant and hers was triumphant.

Harvy was among the guests at the wedding; and he sought her out in a rare moment when she stood alone.

"Your husband," he said, smiling, "has sent me over to kiss you."

A quick blush suffused her face and round polished throat. "I suppose it's natural for a man to feel and act generously on an occasion of this kind. He tells me he doesn't want his marriage to interrupt wholly that pleasant intimacy which has existed between you and me. I don't know what you've been telling him," with an insolent smile, "but he has sent me here to kiss you."

She felt like a chess player who, by the clever handling of his pieces, sees the game taking the course intended. Her eyes were bright and tender with a smile as they glanced up into his; and her lips looked hungry for the kiss which they invited.

"But, you know," he went on quietly, "I didn't tell him so, it would have seemed ungrateful, but I can tell you. I've stopped kissing women; it's dangerous."

Well, she had Brantain and his million left. A person can't have everything in this world; and it was a little unreasonable of her to expect it.

Who's The Boss In The Family

A newlywed couple had just arrived in their honeymoon suite. After unpacking, the husband took off his pants. "Put these on," he said to his wife. She did and they were obviously much too large. "There's no way I can wear these - they're way too big," she said. "Good! Now you know who wears the pants in this family," replied the husband.

Flustered, the wife removed her panties, and handing them to her husband said, "Put these on." The husband looked at the tiny panties and said, "There's no way I can get into these." To which the wife replied, "You're darn right! At least not until you change your attitude!"

Mr Bingley and Jane Bennet - A Forgotten Love Story?

When one thinks of Pride and Prejudice, especially in terms of it being a love story, everyone immediately thinks of Elizabeth and Mr Darcy. While I am not taking anything away from what a great love story this is there is another love story Pride and Prejudice which is often forgotten and overlooked and that is the story of Mr Bingley and Jane Bennet.

When Mr Bingley and Jane meet for the very first time at a ball in Meryton it is definitely a case of love at first sight as far as he is concerned and this is always a romantic start to a love story that has a happy ending. He is straight away struck by her beauty and immediately asks her to dance once they have been introduced. He does dance with some other young ladies that evening but it is obvious that Jane is far and above his favourite as he dances with her more than any other young lady. He communicates as much to Mr Darcy that evening by saying that she is the most beautiful creature that he has ever beheld and later defies Mr Darcy to make him think ill of Miss Bennet. It may not have been a case of love at first sight for Jane but it is clear that she likes him very much as she speaks of him in a very positive light to Elizabeth the next day saying that.

Bingley and Jane see much of each other in the forthcoming weeks and it is obvious that they are both falling in love with each other and all believe that an engagement between them is imminent. Mr Bingley hardly notices any other young lady and we are told that several young ladies were very put out at the Netherfield ball as Mr Bingely did not ask them to dance.

Mr Bingley's biggest fault is that he is too easily persuaded by his sisters and Mr Darcy. When Bingley leaves Netherfield to go to London for a few days his sisters and Mr Darcy, who are quite concerned about his affection for Jane Bennet, see the opportunity and follow him to London. They persuade him that Jane is not in love with him, convince him to stay in London for the winter and conceal from him the fact that Jane, herself is in London.

We are not told anything about Mr Bingley from the time he leaves Netherfield in November to the time he meets Elizabeth in Derbyshire in the summer. All we know is that he was in London for the majority of that time. In London he would have gone to many balls and assemblies and met many charming young ladies and yet he cannot forget Jane Bennet and we know that as hard as she tries she cannot forget him. When Mr Bingley sees Elizabeth in Derbyshire she is pleased to see he knows exactly how long it is since they have seen each other as the last time he saw her was also the last time he saw Jane. He also tries to glean from Elizabeth as much information about Jane as possible without asking after her directly. When he does return to Netherfield he visits the Bennets often and it is not long before he proposes to Jane confessing that he has always loved her. She has no hesitation in accepting as she has never stopped loving him.

A wonderful love story, one of true love that does not die. It contradicts the saying 'out of sight, out of mind'. Mr Bingley would have had many distractions in London but from what we learn later in the story is that his love for Jane was so strong that she was never far from his thoughts.

Mr Bingley and Jane Bennet's love story does affect the better known one of Elizabeth and Mr Darcy. Mr Bingley introduces Jane to his sisters at the ball in Meryton and they soon invite her to Nethferfiled which is when she falls ill and this results in Elizabeth spending several days at Netherfield to nurse her sister but she also does get to know Mr Darcy in this time. Elizabeth learns that Mr Darcy is the one who persuaded Bingley not to marry Jane and this is one of the reasons she gives for rejecting his first proposal. Finally, because Mr Bingley is so eager to see much of Jane when he returns to Hertfordshire and then becomes engaged to her it means Mr Darcy and Elizabeth see much of each other and because Jane and Bingley are not interested in anyone but each other it also means Mr Darcy and Elizabeth have much time alone together which does result in Mr Darcy's second proposal.

So while the story of Elizabeth and Mr Darcy is a great and famous love story let us not forget that of Jane and Mr Bingley - a charming, romantic story of undying love that also had many effects on the love story we all know so well.

A Short Love Story

Le voyage - A short love story

The seas have calmed down after a stormy night. The waves have bid the sand back ashore. The sun has risen without any struggle; the fear of the unknown has walked past the dawn.

She walks slowly with her hair swiftly swaying with the cool cherry filled scent breeze marking the start of summer. She feels as light as a ball of cotton dancing into the midst of wilderness. A voice inside her heart is leading her to the same spot by the beach where she thought she would never set her feet again; but today is the day, she knows it. She believes she's ready, ready to face the past that slammed the door of a starry future, a future she thought was the realization of her dream from a not so distant present.

She stops where two gigantic beach stones are firmly set. She closes her eyes just as when the sun starts to rush below a layer of clouds signaling the nearing twilight.

"Find me if you can!" Those were the last words she heard from Brei, the only man whom she ever loved. They were high school sweethearts. Brei was the only man she thought could make funny faces but still looked so dashingly handsome. There were days he would mimic what he called, a sick monkey after eating loads of bananas, a dehydrated fish, a starving crocodile.....and the list goes on.

It was also the beginning of summer. It was their first summer break on their first year in a university. They were both taking up Political Science; a course they believed was the best to prepare them for a Law degree. They both wanted to become lawyers after their respective fathers. She and Brei were full of dreams, prepared to defy what could the world wrongly delivers to them.

The sun was just about to set when she and Brei decided to go by the beach after a short exchange of stories they have recently read. They were running and laughing, chasing each other as they walked toward the beach until they reached the site where the two distinct rocks rest. The water was high that day, the waves were restless, but the two young lovers didn't mind what was going on around them. They just wanted to enjoy the priceless beauty of the world going by.

The day seemed endless. The angels in heaven could hear their laughter and were enticed to play as well. It was Brei's turn to hide. She closed her eyes and started counting," one two, three, hide quick for the goddess will turn you to stone once she catches you amiss!"

"Brei....yahoo! I'm coming! Her voice started to tremble after a few minutes of desperation for not being able to find Brei. Few minutes became an hour... and more hours... Playful shouts had become screams until the screams became sobs, sobs that then became a complete silence. She could not remember how she got back to her parents' house and the rest. She heard screams of deep pain, sobs rooted from the heart, but she could not tell where they were coming from, Brei was gone, and she never saw him again. Her heart was looking for answers, but her questions remained unanswered and got washed away by the furious waves.

She knows deep in her heart that today is the time to let go. Let the pain from the past be cast away; to move on to a place she believes could make her whole again, to a place where in time she may see Brei again; to a place where she could play with the angels who played with her and Brei on that fateful day. A place where there's no room for sorrow.

Brei is standing by the shore, flowers on his hand. "I love you, goodbye and till we meet again..."

It's been a year since his beloved was washed away with the rushing torrent of waves. They were playing hide and seek and he hid hastily behind a dilapidated hut near the beach; he didn't realise that his ladylove would go and search for him behind the "couple rocks", the two rocks firmly seated on the deeper part of the sea. He thought he had been hiding so long that he emerged himself only to find out that there's no one searching for him anymore. Everything started like a dream but ended a nightmare. She's gone, gone forever, gone with the waves on that unforgettable day.

Brei throws the flowers with the hope that she will get them through the angels that played with them on that day. "Goodbye my love...I love you forever and beyond..." Brei turns his back and starts to walk by the beach towards his home. He knows he has to go on, to follow "their dreams," to walk the road for a journey, the journey that he now has to finish on his own.

Teenage Love in the Shadow of Dating

Many teenagers are the ones who face the mistake of mistranslating the feelings of other people well to a point of believing that the female or male they are dating is in love with them, or they feel really in love with. It is something that they miss usually and are not able to distinguish between lust, love and infatuation. This may happen as they are passing through crucial passage in life.

It is important for teenagers who are within the precincts of dating to remember that those strong relationships that are good balanced have always outweighed the worse aspects of life usually. You must know that you are a teenager and that usually the kind of relationship you have has the tendency to develop some negative aspects which are easily learned from.

It is a sure journey of discovery where you get to find that person you will start dating and spend with the longest period of your life. Love is just that you will always be meeting suitors if you don't find one first. Most of them will just be lusting after your physical well-being and not after the essence of loving each other. Lust is something that has made many teenage love relationships to reach a certain level and then hit a snag. This usually happens after the lust has waned and since there was no love; misery and breakup are left to roam.

The fact is that in a dating relationship, there is a clear distinction that exists between being in love with a man or woman and the act of loving a person. This could be elaborated by the way you depict your love as an entity of desire as compared to the kind of love which we manifest to our parents. It is also different from the person a lover meets or the way women care for their hair rather than shaving it.

The feeling of someone being in love in dating relationship with you is a sacred thinking that comes endowed with uniqueness in the life of every soul on the face of the earth. Usually, the feeling of being in the hands of love means the desire that you have to begin having physical intimacy with that person you are falling in love with. Usually, there is a feeling of being elated or acute joy every time that you happen to be within the line of the person you are in love with. You feel being divinely connected with the person. This kind of love sometimes tastes like the cream of fate or as if you have been familiar with the person in a way, something that make you conjure a feeling of reincarnation.

Nevertheless, make your dating relationships as normal as possible and do not take it as if you are entitled to a person with whom, you can fall in love with. It is not such a healthy thing if you think that you are connected to the other person in a divine way.